Waste of Love
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: Set during "Work Bus" (9x4). Dwight is miserable after finding out that he is barren, and Jim will do anything to cheer him up.
1. Fairy-Tale Happy Endings

"Hey."

Dwight looked up from the pie he'd been eating soberly to see Jim approaching him. The salesman had his hands in his pockets, his forest-green eyes trained on the ground.

"Hello." Dwight said cautiously, squinting up at Jim, his lanky form dark against the painted setting sun. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to say sorry." admitted Jim.

"Sorry for what?"

"Not for anything." Jim continued. "I wanted to say sorry that you… you're barren."

His words made Dwight's stomach tighten. He looked back down at his pie, hiding his misty eyes behind his glasses. "Don't bother apologizing, Jim. It's not your fault. You didn't cause this." He sighed. "If only you did. I would love to be able to blame someone for this. But the only person to blame is… myself."

"Hey." began Jim gently. He sat down next to Dwight and put his hand tentatively on Dwight's shoulder. "Don't say that. This isn't anyone's fault. Not mine, not yours."

"Then why are you apologizing?"

"Because it makes me sad." Jim glanced away from his coworker and over at Pam, who was sitting with Stanley and Phyllis, laughing. Thinking of Cece and Philip made his chest swell with pride. They were his- his children, his DNA, his pride and joy. To think that Dwight would never experience that bliss made Jim's heart ache.

"Why do you care?" Dwight asked. It took Jim a few moments to realize that Dwight was looking up at him again, a cold look in his blue eyes.

Jim was silent. And then, when he spoke, it was another question. "Philip- your Philip, Angela's Philip. He isn't yours, is he?"

Dwight shook his head. His eyes were definitely wet now- but Jim hadn't seemed to notice yet. Or maybe he was just ignoring it, for Dwight's sake. "No. He's not."

"But you thought he was."  
"Yes."

Jim smiled. "You know how I knew?"

"How?"

"The look on your face when you talked about him." Jim said matter-of-factly. "I recognized that look, Dwight. I… I'd know it anywhere. It's love."

"What a waste of love." muttered Dwight.

"No. Love is never a waste."

"But he's not my child, Jim!" Dwight snapped. He was meeting Jim's eye now, and his eyes were pits of fiery, blue anger, despite the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "And he will never be mine, no matter how much I love him. And now I'll never have a child of my own. So, yes. Love is a waste. All of it. For Philip, and for Angela. It's a waste."

"Dwight, don't say that." Jim placed his hand on Dwight's shoulder, frowning. "You can still have a kid. There's always adoption. And don't tell me that your love for Angela was a waste. Frankly, I don't know what either of you saw in each other, but for some reason, you saw something. Has Angela not made you happy?"

"Yes." Dwight murmured softly.

"Then it isn't a waste." Jim said. "Maybe she is with someone else now. But don't lose hope- look at Pam and I. She was engaged to Roy when I was in love with her. And now we're happily married."

"Yes, I know. You two got a fairy-tale happy ending." Dwight replied bitterly, spitting each word out as if it was sour on his tongue. "Don't rub it in." Before Jim could even process what had just happened, Dwight had gotten up and headed off.

Jim ran his long fingers through his thick hair, sighing. He hadn't meant it that way. If only there was something he could do to make Dwight feel better…

All of a sudden, an idea struck him. Jim grinned. "Perfect." he muttered to no one in particular. He raced across the grass, toward Pam, knowing exactly how to cheer up Dwight.


	2. Friends

"You want to do what?" Pam asked incredulously, a look of shock in her brown eyes.

Jim's wide grin faltered slightly at the dubious expression on his wife's face, but went on anyways. "I want to let Dwight show Cece how to garden. You know, because of his beet farm and stuff."

"Why?" she inquired, her face a blank mask of confusion. "I don't think Cece needs to know how to garden… not until she's older, at least. And…" She leaned in close to Jim. "...Do you really want Dwight in contact with our daughter?"

Jim pursed his lips. "I know you must think I'm crazy, Pam, but please, hear me out."

"I'm listening."

"Dwight told me something personal while we were on the top of the bus." the salesman began. "He's barren. He can't have kids."  
"Oh my God." breathed Pam. "That's awful. Because- with Philip-"

"I know. I know." said Jim. "Anyway, he's really torn up about it. I thought that maybe… if he could have some involvement with the kids… maybe he'd feel a bit better."

"That's sweet, Jim." Pam leaned up and kissed him lightly. "Well, sounds good to me. As long as he has a phone with him twenty-four seven so we can contact him."  
"I didn't mean leaving her alone with him!" Jim laughed. "My God, Beesly, you're more trusting than I am."

"Okay, good. We can sit out in the yard with Philip, then."

"Sounds good." Jim kissed her on the forehead. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"No, Jim, you don't." Pam replied, shaking her head, making her light brown curls bounce playfully around her face. "Dwight is my friend too."

"Friend?" He grinned. "Who said anything about Dwight and I being friends?"

"Oh, please." She giggled. "You're not fooling anyone, sweetie. Now go tell Dwight before we think twice about this idea."  
"Alright." The salesman stood up. "I love you, Pam. See you later."

"Bye, Jim." Pam waved to him as he headed off.


	3. Be There

"Hey, Dwight." called Jim, jogging over to his fellow salesman. Dwight was sitting by himself under a clump of trees, their shadows creeping across his face. He glared up at Jim, his blue eyes lit with a new aversion.

"What do you want?" Dwight snapped. "Here to poke fun at my personal life again?"

"Of course not." Jim said. "And I wasn't doing that before, either."

Dwight scoffed and dropped his gaze. Jim wanted to sit down beside him, but he didn't want to provoke him. He settled for loitering awkwardly, towering above Dwight with his hands buried deep in his pockets. "I had a favour to ask you, actually."

"What makes you think I'll do anything for you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought, y'know, that's what friends do."

Dwight raised his eyebrows. "You consider me as a friend?"

"Funny, right?"

Dwight stared at Jim for a few moments longer, searching for proof that Jim wasn't kidding in his earnest green eyes. Eventually, he shook his head imperceptibly and looked back down at the ground. "What did you want me to do for you, Jim?"

"I was wondering if you were available this weekend." began Jim. "Pam and I want Cece to learn how to garden, but… I mean, we're hopeless. So we thought that the best person for the job would be… well, her Uncle Dwight, of course."

Dwight's head snapped up, cobalt eyes wide and full of shock. "Me?"

"Wait, I think I'm talking to the wrong 'Uncle Dwight'." joked Jim.

Dwight ignored him. "You want me to teach your child, Jim?"

Jim nodded. "I figured you'd do a good job, Dwight. After all, you do own a farm."

"Is this another prank?"

"No."

"Are you lying."

"Yes."

Dwight raised his eyebrows. Hastily Jim added, "No, of course not, Dwight. I'm serious. Pam and I really want you to teach Cece."

After a long pause, Dwight conceded. "Very well." he said. "I'll do it. Saturday at twelve-ten. Your place. Be there."  
Jim nodded, grinning. "Oh, we will be. Thank you."

Dwight stared up at Jim, conflicting emotions battling in his dark eyes. For a moment, Jim thought Dwight was going to step out of his comfort zone and say something nice, but he just growled, "Now, go away, Jim. I have some pie to eat."

"Right." Jim waved and headed off. He couldn't seem to wipe the smile from his face.


	4. You've Done Well, Halpert

There was a knock at Jim and Pam's door on Saturday. Jim, who was walking toward the door and holding Cece's small hand in his large one, glanced down at his watch. "Twelve-ten on the nose." he announced.

"That's Dwight for you." remarked Pam, following him with Philip in her arms.

Jim opened the door. There stood Dwight, holding a large and rather dirty bag, which he promptly dumped into Jim's arms.

"Hello, Jim." he said stiffly. And, to Cece, "Greetings, small Halpert child."

"This is Cece, Dwight." Jim reminded his coworker.

"Right." Dwight looked Cece up and down calculatingly. "Good job, Jim. She's a healthy child."

"Thanks."

"So, Dwight," began Pam, stepping forward. "Hi, by the way. So- we have some little seed packets and gardening equipment out there for you and Cece."

"No need, Pam." Dwight gestured to the bag in Jim's arms. "I brought all my own supplies."  
"Oh."  
Dwight leaned down and gently took Cece by the hand. "Come, child." They headed out into the yard. Jim glanced over at Pam, eyebrows raised, and then followed them outside.

In the backyard, the couple had set up two folding chairs for them to sit on and watch Dwight and Cece. Jim sat down, and Pam, emerging from the house with Philip in her arms, sat beside him. Dwight squatted beside the garden, trying to get down to Cece's height. He held out a small shovel. "Would you like to make the hole?" he asked.

"Okay." said Cece in her small toddler voice. She took the shovel from him and dug a little hole.

Dwight handed her a few small seeds. "Here you are." he said, placing them gently in her miniature hand.

Meanwhile, Pam turned to Jim, a small smile on her face. "Do you think it's working?"

"What?"

"Dwight. Do you think he looks happy?"

Jim grinned. "I think so."

They both looked ahead, where Cece was giggling relentlessly, her stubby fingers smearing dirt all over Dwight's face. Dwight was grinning, looking like he was enjoying it. Jim couldn't help but relish Dwight's smile, something he wondered if he'd ever see again. It was already something that he hardly saw, so he was glad to preserve those few times.

"You've done well, Halpert." Pam remarked lightly, resting her chin on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. "You've done well."

end


End file.
